Kimura Sora Ameri w.i.p

[kimura]

Name: Kimura Sora Ameri



Age: 18 years old



Gender: male



Trainer Type: evil team leader for start undercover as flying type pokemon trainer



Hometown: Pallet Town Kanto





Appearance: Kimura is 6.23 ft tall guy with long silver (NOT GRAY!!!) hair and orange eyes, he has slander build. he has smirk on his face if something he likes happends and he wears neutral face rest of the time, his neutral face his just as suggested neutral he has his lips in strait line. if he is in bad mood he has small frown on his face. He has sharp chin, thin lips, thin eyebrows, little nose. by slander build i mean he is skinny he dosn't have much fat or muscle he could make slanderman Cosplay for Halloween.he casually wears black coat with zipper to keep it closed. he has black T-shirt under it. when he is on official team sky business he wears almost same black coat but with team sky logo on in (next to Kimura's face) and ring with team sky logo on it. he always wears black trousers with ninja like pouch straped to his waist. he wears orange sandals. He has pale skin tone. during winter he changed his orange sandals for black boots and he replaced his light black coat for black coat but with some fur in it to keep him warm, under it he wears black hoodie with black shirt under it. he wears black trousers as always. he carries his pokemon and other stuff in his pouches. by other stuff i mean pokeballs potions and more. 
 



Personality: Kimura is calm and rather quiet guy, he can be considered antisocial and introverted person, .He prefers to be quiet when around strangers  and other people. he only speaks when spoken to . in battle he is calm and focuses only on battle, ignoring the taunts trying to provoke him into making mistake, he likes to relax on high placed places and flying type pokemone he also likes spicy food, he dislikes pokemon strong agains flying type pokemon and loud people, he also dislikes unfair treatment. his weakness is talking about his family and how his mother in his eyes betrayed him because of his plans. his strength is his confidence in his plans. nothing can stop him from getting what he wants. and his calmness and patience even if someone hits the nerve he will pretend to be calm for the moment and after he will be alone he will go to the nearby high placed place and releases his anger in training his pokemon by fighting wild pokemon or by going on some route to start fighting some low level trainers



History: Kimura was born in Kanto and he was raised in Pallet town of Kanto region. he lived with his mother his father is unknown but his mother say he got his looks more from his father than her. his absence of his father didn't effected him.he was happy child with good heart and One day when he was wondering around the pallet town he saw 2 pokemon trainers facing each other and he was amazed by their battleling skills and decided he also wanted to be pokemon trainer. Once he was starting to grow up he started to notice some people were threated unfairly for example some thugs were harassing gay couple or some police man choking unarmed black man because he stole one apple to feed his starving family. started to make plans to change that. He made plans to make team that will conquer all regions and rule them giving fair threatment to all people. he saw the peaceful ways how to change that were not working, around that time he started to be drawled to flying type pokemon fascinated by them,. their ability to fly their movement and attacks, After he reached age of  16 he made his plans known to his mother but she called him mad (who woudn't lmao) she kicked him out of the house. This in his eyes betrayal of his motherr harmed his heart so he swore to not get too much attaced to any other human and he started to act cold and started to be more introverted he didn't start much conversations. He only spoke when spoken to or he spoke to another if he needed something. now 18 years old he is ready to start to travel and put his plans into motion.



Goals: His goals are to conquer all regions and to capture all legendary pokemon with flying type or levitate ability. but before that he plans to become champion with flying type pokemon specialty and make world better place whatever is the price, he is ready to use violence to get his point across 



Other Info: He has difficulty to get trust in other people after what his mother did


How did you find us?: i just googled pokemon rp and this one interested me



Application completed: [NO still missing something i will work on it for a while]

[Caramell 🍬]

PENDING

Appearance
This section needs 12 sentences and I count 6 sentences if I break up a few of the run ons into their own coherent thoughts. Overall, not bad, but could use some improvements to let us know who to visualize when reading about Kimura. Some ideas to consider here:

- What's his skin tone? Should this be left undefined? Letting the reader supplement as they want? If you want to break away from the "pale"/"black" etc descriptors or don't yet feel comfortable describing tone, I can recommend Writing with Color to help!

- What sort of figure do they have? Is it thick and square, almost like a box or fridge? Is it thin and slender, more like a pole? Is it defined with some curves, sort of like an hour glass?

- What about their face. Do they have any really defining features? Such as high cheek bones? A nubian nose? Thick, cupid's bow shaped lips? Or even a heart-shaped facial structure?

I know you've included an image, but fleshing Kimura out further would really help us understand him better! While you don't have to try to answer or include everything I've asked, it's more to help you consider how to improve Kimura further!

Personality
This needs to be 12 sentences. You have 2, if you break it up to be individual sentences. It doesn't tell us really anything about Kimura, if I'm being honest. Not all calm and quiet people think the same, act the same, or have the same interests. Here's what I would recommend to flesh him out.

- How is Kimura around other people? Especially his friends? His family? How is he around strangers? In large gatherings or at important events?

- What are Kimura's likes and dislikes? What is he super fond of? Favorite foods or places, and what sorts of emotions does he feel from these things? What does he absolutely detest and what sorts of emotions or ways of expressing those emotions does he have?

- Does he have a boiling point? Or can he control his emotions in every single instance, no matter what happens? What does it take to "light his fuse"? How does he calm himself back down if there's a way to get him to 'break' in a sense?

- What strong beliefs does he have? About Pokemon, types, people in general, etc? Why does he believe these things?

History
You need 18 sentences here and have around 10-13. Closer to 13 if you break up some of the running thoughts in separate, clear and distinct sentences, so just needs a bit of polishing. From there about a paragraph more should really help even Kimura out.

Some questions I have reading his history:

- What did he notice specifically that was unfair treatment in Kimura's eyes?

- Did having an absent father in his life affect Kimura? How did it affect him (mentally, emotionally, etc)?

- His mother caused him to be quiet and introverted? Did he have friends before that he just built walls around and closed off? Who was Kimura before he became this new quiet person who never lets anyone in?

- What are these plans, besides controlling flying types and if he's lucky legendaries to make the world a better place?

Of course, no need to answer all of these questions, but just some to hopefully help you flesh him out. I can't wait to read Kimura's adventures once he's fully approved for the site!

[kimura]

okay i will edit it a bit to make it make more sense

[kimura]

okay someone can go check it out again and tell me what did i screw up this time :3

[Tarlar]

Hi Kimura, no screw ups! XD
We still need a bit more length though. I can see you have been working on this and thought about what Caramell offered ^^ Especially with the personality.
I'm giving you some more suggestions for inspirations, if needed ^^ Or you can poke Jenesis, or in general in the cbox if you'd like some brainstorming.

Appearance You have 9 sentences out of the 12 needed.
-Does he wear sandals in snow as well? Any difference in his clothing summer and winter?
-What kind of bag pack does he have if any? How does he store his items and caught pokemon? (does he have a belt like in the anime or is he doing it differently?). Does he carry things like camping gear? Something which would be useful as a bird enthusiast?
-I would describe the picture with: sharp chin, thin lips, thin eyebrows, little nose, unruly silver long hair (and then just perhaps a bit longer described than just noting it down)
-How is his normal expression? Smiling confidently like the picture? Scowling? Always laughing? Glaring coldly at everybody?

Personality You have 7-9 sentences, you need 12
-Does he feel lonely now he is trying not to get attached to other people? Have he never had friends, or did he break with them due to his mothers betrayal?
-Why is he drawn to flying pokemon? What does he like about them?
-Why does he think he needs to rule the world to make it a better place? Does he have any idea of how he want to do that?

History Very close, a sentence or two should do it.
-You have a little weird sentence in the second line of the history. "he got his looks more from his father than her absence of his father didn't effected him." Sounds like two sentences and as if there is missing something?
-What made him decide to focus on flying pokemon? Why are they "better" than other pokemon?

Almost there with the app! ^^

By the way, if I could get you to find the places where you have both punctuation and comma and remove the latter, it would be nice ^^